This article is purely a work of non-fiction, any resemblances made to any person living or dead is purely intentional and intended to reach out to them to open their clogged minds and penetrate and insinuate feelings that they chose to deliberately hide behind, in the garb of insecure masculinity. If you have no urge to call me a simp yet, you are on your way to become ‘The Man’ you always thought (and definitely claimed) you were, so. Read On!
International Woman’s day is an event dissed by many in the willy community. Feeds filled with woman achievers around the globe, woman quotes floating around the internet, office events commemorating women staff (hot receptionist toh theek hai, but the geek clerk called Geeta too!) and then some random moronic guys writing articles about woman’s day does become, a little overwhelming. To be honest I won’t blame it on you boys, most of us were living with the same skewed notions of being a man, but then we grew up. And trust me it takes a man to write an article celebrating women, in a country, where even the slightest signs of being kind and soft spoken gets you termed as being a “Pussy” when ironically some people just slog their day light hours to just score one.
But let’s not discredit those men who make the world a better place by just being there, without being overtly chivalrous for the heck of it, by not thinking that they are understanding and cooperative just by cooking a day’s meal or doing laundry. By not judging women if they drink and guys if they love to dress up. By just doing nothing at all. So, this women’s day let us not cry over the hype, but use this event to man up and steal their thunder, after-all, why should girls have all the fun? Here are the three things you should remember: –
- Build a strong body….and a stronger Mind.
Healthy body is a temple to healthy mind, but since this isn’t a health-line blog lets focus on the mental aspect. We often hear bros flexing their ripped bods and they have all the right to do so. One works too hard to work on those muscles and no amount of flexing is too much for those intense workout regimes, but then, why shy away to prove your mental mettle? But before you jump on to say “not all men”, let us clarify, the testimony to your great mental faculties isn’t to know everything, but to be comfortable in your opinions and the courage to put it across. So, for example liking sports isn’t a reassurance to your masculinity, but having the courage to say that you don’t like sports (only when you actually don’t!) and rather like reading poems does make a lot more sense. We often see women switching moods quicker than clothes, but this clearly highlights their ability to accept the constant shift that one goes through in a day, however men avoid acknowledging their true emotions, but remember living in denial just leads to an accumulation of emotions, so entangled, that you no more no what it is and end up being disrespectful or doing things that we never intended to. On second thoughts women change more cloths than moods, my bad.
2. Be a human, before being a man.
Let’s face it being a man comes with its own set of challenges(apart from the struggles to get a good beard), the gender roles are so stringent in the society that unconsciously we conform to such roles. Some men grow up in areas where they have never heard a woman speak and have always seen them veiled. Thus, always ready to draw curtains and protect the “modesty”. And it’s okay. We are raised as boys, often even raised as men even in the early stages of childhood. With the same set of ideologies this young man, when witnesses’ women doing all sorts of things, and sometimes(mostly) even better than him, it’s understandable for him to get anxious (often referred as male ego) but this is only because we have been a man all this while, and never a human. All you have to do is, for once, step out of the fenced gender role and start becoming flexible with your ideas. Become comfortable to put yourself in the shoes of other people i.e., other men and women. And when you do this, you will understand that how ‘free will’ is the most important thing that you can gift someone. The liberty of not judging them by the length of their dress, or the peace of letting anyone love anyone, will make sense to you and soon you will realise a man is not the one who you were taught he is. He does not need to be a protector. A man just like a woman, just needs to live and let live.
3. Stand Up.
So far so good, a man is the one who lives and let lives. But how nice would the world have been if things were so simple. You can make the decision of being reasonable for yourself, but not for others and when you feel something is not right, all you have to do is- stand up. It is verry difficult. In a world where perception of masculinity is so flawed it is easier to get swayed by these false narratives of masculinity than to understand it at greater lengths. Then there is acceptance. All we ever want is get accepted, whether by wearing a cloak of pretence or by confining to the thought process of the majority. This is the reason we let go of all those locker room talk that has been normalized and licensed by the authority of being a man. A lot men know that it isn’t right but to speak up is to discard acceptance of the bois, but to stand up is also equivalent to making a change, making the world a little safer for your mothers, wives, sisters and girlfriends. Above all making a transition from being a boy to being a man.
And before the women folk complain of making this day all about men let me wish all of you a very happy women’s day! Although its not today , but like they say its never too late in fiction or in life to rejoice. PS- that’s how it’s done bois!
This post is written by Abhishek Ranjan