Romanticizing the idea of online dating has to be one of the few primal achievements bagged by the Millennials of the 21st century. 2 decades into the 2000s the world is hit by the corona virus or perhaps if I may call it, the invisible antithesis of cupid, quite inconveniently. Couples are stranded away from each other and even those who live in the same city have gotten a taste of long distance relationships. But of course, their love for each other, truest of its kind does not in any way lose to this antagonist that has taken over their happily existing adaptation of maybe their favourite happily-in-love rom-com montages. The triumph over this anti-cupid has only been possible, thanks to perhaps, one of the most magnificent creations of human beings to exist- mobile phones.
What does dating include exactly? Constantly thinking of your partner? Eating with them, sleeping with them, doing activities with them or in a few words, spending time with them? Telling them everything about your life? Clinging to them with the might of your life? Add to it the constant need for attention, fights relating to punctuality or lack thereof, fidelity, love, commitment..the list is endless. Well, if these really are the parameters that define the process of dating, then in that case, I am most certainly dating my mobile phone. There, I said it! I won’t take it back now. It’s out here in the open. To all those who are curious, yes it’s official. You could call it a fling, except the more this lockdown is extended, the farther it will be from a fling. Now haters may call me the younger version of the old cat lady with 7 cats, or the lonely snake man who kids run away from, but can you really blame me? I’m just giving this amazing equation-that I have built with my phone over the lockdown-a name. It really is inevitable when you are alone, have nobody to talk to (on purpose for some) and then there is this device which seems to create this near perfect experience of companionship coupled with lack of any commitment issues that need to be tackled with.
These days, with so much free time on people’s hands, this race to be productive or useful in some way has been joined by so many people. The constant usage of mobiles and laptops for online meetings, online classes, new projects or just searching for something, even an excuse to do something has increased way too much. And then of course there are those serial binge watchers (can’t forget to include my people here) who spend their day in and day out on their respective devices. This consequence of the lockdown is obviously anything but inevitable. People with still way too much free time to spend have taken up online dating to just pass time. These people chose to let a stranger in their lives and that too happily (sorry, my introverted side is slightly creeping up to me in this lockdown). Being a self acclaimed ambivert, I can’t help but let my introverted side take over my other slight extroverted side. I can’t help but avoid unnecessary human interaction and as a result, online dating or meeting new people seems more like a chore than a distraction. After spending more than the past 8 whole months on my phone while avoiding human interaction, I couldn’t help but realise my love for this object which never in any way failed to meet the expectations for a probable online date that I set in my head.
I mean, let’s face it, the only difference between online dating and dating your devices is that online dating involves 2 human beings, while in my case, only I fulfill the human element. On the face of it, it might seem counterproductive. Like how is it even dating when I’m the only person in this relationship? But if you look at it from the point of view of the person involved, you’ll see that this relationship removes the only root of all major problems that stem in a relationship which is 2 sets of opinions and discord between the 2. Firstly, the biggest advantage of this relationship is that I will be the only one dictating the terms of the relationship. This means that I don’t have to go the extra mile to please my phone, dates will be according to my schedule which basically means all the time, everything will be according to my preferences and I will be the sole decision maker taking suo moto cognizance of each and every situation. Secondly, my mobile in a way is only loyal to me and I don’t have to doubt every action it takes. Also, I don’t even have to ask for the passwords coupled with that age-old debate of “don’t you trust me?” and “what are you hiding in there, that you can’t share your passwords?” because I will be the one who sets those passwords. Thirdly, the advantages are limitless. I mean, I will not be tagged as clingy for spending every living and conscious second with my phone. Unhealthy? Definitely. But not clingy. Also I most definitely do not spend all my time with my phone. That is an unhealthy behaviour that, I, in no way am habitual of. Ye aapko beemar, bohot beemar kar sakta hai.(translation-this can make you ill, very ill.)(I’m not even sorry XD).
Also, like a real relationship, we have our fair share of fights so it feels like we have something real. When I don’t give it space, it overheats. I often fear for my life when that happens. Also it shuts down and loses battery when i use it too much, just to make me give it space. Then, I, being my understanding self, plug in the charger and leave the poor device to replenish its sources. Also, its storage gets filled up making me not so happy as it keeps reminding me to empty the storage space. Also sometimes the screen starts acting weird and I can’t help but feel like this, straight up, is an act of rebellion. But you know what? I am learning and growing with time. I am learning to give it space and my eyes some rest. After all, learn from your mistakes.
Now, just to be clear, I am not endorsing a selfish take on every relationship that one comes across
through this article. Of course relationships mostly require equal contribution and commitment by both
the parties and of course that is the beauty of being in a relationship. And I’m also not saying that normal
relationships are nothing in front of this peculiar tie-in I happen to have with this device. Neither am I
averse to human connection. However, in this pandemic, for the time being, I most definitely recommend
and approve of this connection that I have come across to all my fellow introverts. I mean, we are already
spending our entire day using our phones and choosing it over actual physical contact with our family or
surroundings, and so we might as well give this device the place in our hearts too. And as for me, i think i
can avoid breaking up with my phone till either we find a cure to this pandemic and i finally step in the
outside world with actual human beings, or till woh mujhe tang karne lage (translation-it has started troubling me)
This article has been written by Ishita, IIIrd year.
