I believe in second chances, not because the process is ugly and heartbreaking, not for all the drama it brings, but for the very reason that I’ve been a recipient of one. And yes, you probably have received it too.
Second chances are hard. I admit it, we’ve faced a point in life when others have seen us as vulnerable, and we’ve been inhumane and heartless to others. But also, we understood that person more and that too in depth. We have learned how to behave and talk to beings who place themselves on thrones, and beings that don’t understand their construct. And let me tell you, we’ve been both. But the whole point being, we have been both a recipient to second chances, and given this valuable but hard gift. Sometimes we learn things from love, and sometimes from hate.
I’m not a perfect symmetry and if I’d have to be one, I’d be a building in any corner of the world, doing nothing but standing with regret that I’m perfectly symmetrical and have done nothing in life. But I’m not, hence I make mistakes and take decisions that I regret because at the end, im not a building.
Hence it is a human tendency to make mistakes. But only a few know that. I’ve seen years of friendship crumble in seconds just because of ego and anger and I’ve seen relationships grow stronger over these mistakes, shoving aside ego hatred and anger, to relationships that set examples of strength and peace. And I’d be happier with the latter.
But now we have faced a question whether this is healthy or not? Well, giving a second chance to a person is a big sign of strength and does not make you a smaller person, it makes you a human who just got new nerve endings synthesised in their head and you have become a little smarter. Congratulations! You are invincible now.
But listen, just because you are on a diet, doesn’t mean that you will live off kale and forget butter chicken. Its your prerogative to understand and analyze who and why they deserve this gift. And here, I mean understand why they need this second chance.
If you have counterparts who leech your life out of you by being absolutely crude and are harming your very fabric of existence, then don’t spend this gift. Don’t forgive beings who never have understanding of their mistakes, who don’t understand the gift you are giving. Don’t, in conclusion, be pushed away in a crowd and get into a stampede where they are just walking over your precious gift. You are not being a bad person by not forgiving that leech. Understand that you have your boundaries and that you have your limits of forgiveness. Be honest to yourself and the gift that you are giving.
And remember, be true to yourself. Be committed to your inner self. Don’t give second chances if you don’t feel like it. Just because one person did it right in front of your eyes doesn’t mean that you will be able to do it. That person must have literally worked hard and must have dissected all of their emotions and situations and the circumstances the other person put them through. They worked hard for this and you might well have to.
To end this, I’d just say that be the bigger human. Learn to forgive and forget. Learn to understand circumstances of the other grieving human who just, was probably scared of being a building. Learn that and yes, keep this gift close. You are not Santa.
Your friend in the same race,